he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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