No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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