im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize