I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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