I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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