She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize