I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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