If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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