In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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