dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
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This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize