I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
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You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
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You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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