threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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