Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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