the condom got lost in my hair
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
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