I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize