? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
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There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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