So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize