did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
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It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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