I wish my penis had an off switch
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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