I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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