Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I understand Curling. That high.
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It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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