i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize