I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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