Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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