I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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