we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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