3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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