Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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