I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
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I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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