We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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