I've blown a few things in my day
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize