I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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