I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
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