shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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