Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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