Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
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