yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize