I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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