I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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