My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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