Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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