he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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