you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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