you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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