How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize