You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
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...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
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I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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