You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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