New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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