I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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