Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
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relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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